COVENTRY MESSAGE BOARD

This was a letter that I sent to our local newspaper late last week, and they published it today. I've already had e-mail congratulations for it. Sorry it's a JPEG, I didn't save the original text.

Well, they're just another shade of right wing, aren't they? Way to the right of the old-style Conservatives (as opposed to today's Tories). We don't have a balanced political institution any more, just a bunch of self-interested spivs and chancers, to use Vince Cable's words.

The facial expressions say a lot, don't they? I truly hope that we don't get UKIP's aim come to fruition. The big multinationals, like especially the car industry, would without any doubt migrate to Europe if we leave the EU, and we would lose our biggest export earner. It wouldn't happen instantly,...

Glad to hear it!!!

If Scotland gains its independence after the forthcoming referendum, the remainder of the United Kingdom will be known as the Former United Kingdom (F.U.K.). In a bid to discourage the Scots from voting 'Yes' in the referendum, Lib.Dems have now begun a campaign with the slogan: "Please Vote No...

Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: "Windows frozen."

Husband texts back: "Pour some lukewarm water over it."

Wife texts back 5 mins later: "Computer completely screwed now."

Live dangerously!!!!!

A true story! In the early 1990s, I stayed at a hotel near Nuneaton. On the Friday morning, the manageress was sniggering as she came and served us. My colleague asked what was funny. She said, they had had a young woman catering student with them all week, for work experience, and she was a walking...

Police have just released details of a new drug craze prevalent in Yorkshire nightclubs.
Apparently, Yorkshire clubgoers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.

Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist, "Nah then, lad, does tha sell a*se cream?"
Chemist replies, "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"